Being There for Others Is Being There for Yourself

By Cora Fahy

As I sit by the fire on this cold winter night, I am contemplating my upcoming birthday, while remembering previous birthdays that had a big impact on my life.

I had hoped my 47th birthday would bring better tidings than the previous few years had.

At 45, my husband divorced me, telling me in no uncertain terms... I’m DONE with you!

46 had challenged me to learn what it was like to live alone again, AND also almost took another of my siblings away from me. Forcing me to face the grief of loss square in the eyes yet AGAIN!! But instead of a wee break from the chaos, 47 brought me breast cancer instead.

And what does one do when faced with ANOTHER storm……well, you pull on your wellies (aka Wellington boots) and figure out how to navigate it! That’s what.

And here I am, almost 7 years later and about to turn 54 in a few days, still navigating as best I can, and advocating so that others might have less to deal with on their own journey through cancer.

And my advocacy is not big stuff, like starting organizations or organizing big fundraisers etc. It’s the small things, like being available when your friends reach out and say, ”Someone I know just got diagnosed, would you be able to talk/listen to them."

Or like working in the PT community as a Cancer Exercise Specialist PT Assistant, and being able to offer some real world experiences to my patients, as I have walked the walk with some of the same treatments they are going through themselves.

I’ve learned a load of things since being diagnosed with breast cancer, and one of them is to just “show up.”

To show up is defined as “to proactively commit to something; to seriously (rather than casually) pitch in and work.”

To be there for others, in some way is also being there for yourself.

It makes sense of the chaos, and helps give you a focus.

A purpose.

It helps lessen the loneliness that all of us feel when we hear the words, “It’s cancer.”

So show up as best you can, because you never know how much that may help the next person who hears those awful words. Or is faced with ANY life changing challenge for that matter.