Random Thoughts

By Veronica Novy

Here

Alone

I

Sit

In

My

Room

Pondering the thoughts of yesterday

And wondering how I have existed

On the verge of life for so long

Here I sit waiting

Asking for someone to hear my voice

Here I sit and there is nothing left

To say to anyone anymore

Here

Alone

I

Sit

Thinking about my own existence

And about survival, my survival

As I cling to a world during peacetime

But somehow I feel like a foot soldier

Knowing that my face hides

Love

Fear

Joy

Emotion

Tenderness

And peace

But behind my face there is something lurking in the shadows

And its me

My righteous self

My unpretentious self

My black self

My woman self

Now as I sit here alone

I begin to ponder once again

I say to myself, Now Aig’t I a Woman?

I give myself a high five in the mirror

And realize that I couldn’t have gotten from here to there

Without a struggle

A struggle of the mind

Struggle of all the woman in my family

Remembering, survival is not for everyone

Especially during peacetime!

Ponder that.

9/25/96

12:36am